Mainstream gay culture is dominated by cis male stereotypes. Rarely are interracial couples presented as totally normal or even outstanding. Plus, plenty of LGBT folks are anti-homophobia but sometimes openly or covertly racist. They understand sexual discrimination, but not necessarily connect when it comes to race.
The National Association of Black and White Men Together is approaching 40 years of fighting against these prejudices.
As you know, the 1967 U.S. Supreme Court decision in Loving v. Virginia legalized interracial marriage across the country, So do we live in a country where LGBT interracial couples aren’t just tolerated, but are accepted? This isn’t always how things work. Queer, interracial couples can be subject to discrimination.
So, does this disconnect make you angry or at least frustrating? Have you met up with, for example, maybe well meaning, or curious folks, with questions or comments about your relationship?
I just came across a great online article in “Pride” on these concepts.
1. “How politically correct.”
People do not usually choose their identities, but also choose their relationships in an attempt to prove their political beliefs. I did not choose to prove a point, I remember how difficult dating is and I cannot imagine that folks would purposely decide to do this to be politically correct. I did it for romance and a relationship.
2. “I *love* mixed babies!”
I hate that word “mixed”. Also, the idea that evokes an exotic fantasy of interracial kids is dehumanizing,. No one is dating so you’ll like their babies.
3. “What did your parents think?”
This is a tough one. Yes, we all at some point want to please our parents and conform to the cis gender “norms”. However, unless it comes from legitimate concern, it seems like statements of this kind are just fishing for drama. We hope most parents don’t care that their kids are in an interracial relationship any more than they care that their kid is queer.
4. “Oooooh, forbidden!”
Interracial, LGBT relationships are not scandalous. We have gone beyond the demonization of inter race and queer. It’s just a relationship, and I’d be much happier (and, like, safer) if people just viewed it as that, instead of a spectacle.
5. “Clearly you think you’re too good for your own race.”
This is a very toxic comment . While I recognize the history of Black and white segregation and the need to establish or reenforce Black culture. when you fall for someone, you fall for someone. It’s not fair to delegitimize a relationship just because it doesn’t work with a political or cultural agenda.
6. “Isn’t it a bit much? Being in a queer AND interracial relationship?”
Combinations of sexual identity and race are not easy to make work. You do not “choose” to be gay or fall in love. But should not give up ones own happiness to make random people more comfortable.
7. “Won’t it be so hard for your kids?”
This is the type of scare-tactic people often use with biblical references. Kids have a hard enough time to grow up these days to have external forces putting them down for being born to a loving coupe. Let’s stay educated, and to fight for the kids who exist now to make sure they can have great lives no matter who their parents are, and no matter what color their skins are.
8. “Do you know other interracial couples?”
I do know a large number of interracial couples. This is the benefit of joining the NABWMT. But not all queer, interracial couples know other similar couples.
9. “I’ve always wanted to date a person of color, but I haven’t.”
Then perhaps you might. And, to insert a commercial, listen to more podcasts on the NABWMT, or visit their website or Facebook!
There you can see a 39 year struggle against overt or subtle racism and micro aggressions.
Source: Rachel Charlene Lewis
